32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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