She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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