it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
