windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
