You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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