Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
