I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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