question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
