'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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