she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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