I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
