Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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