By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
