Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
