You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
