and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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