biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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