would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
