What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
