so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
mondays should just be called national damage control day
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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