If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
