I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
