He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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