My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
