i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
