oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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