dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
