R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
