I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
