Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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