wat bout pragnant strippers??
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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