I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
