a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
