Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
