But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize