i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize