hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
