no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
