I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
