Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
