I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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