i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize