My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
