My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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