Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Someone signed my nipple.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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