tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
