actually, I'm a sock model
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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