I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
