i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
