Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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