...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
