I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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