If i come over, it means nothing
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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