It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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