So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
