Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
