Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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