I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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