She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
