hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
