Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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